The subject of beauty is a subject that I always talk about in my articles in this column. However, when I'm talking about beauty, I'm not giving you advice to reach the ideal, but to find the state where you feel the best and happiest.
Because before I came to this separation, I went through very tiring roads. The pressure of the media and society on beauty standards, especially on us women, brought me to the point where I could no longer recognize myself. And this is such a pressure that even when you surrender and make these changes in yourself, you never feel enough. No matter how beautiful you are, you cannot see this beauty in yourself and you find yourself focusing only on your flaws. Of course, this results in you constantly trying to cover and hide these "flawed" places. This situation is so systematized that it only takes a few minutes in a simple photo application to arrange yourself according to beauty standards. However, the mental damage caused by these few minutes of action is much more than we think.
When we modify ourselves to fit these standards, we hate our true self. We get angry at ourselves for not being the person in this unreal photograph, not being like him. However, we created it, we changed the way we liked with unrealistic effects and filters. Although we think that it makes us feel beautiful at that moment when we reach this awareness, there is a very heavy burden on the invisible side that drives us to a great feeling of inadequacy and distances us from ourselves. When I realized this, I chose to walk away from beauty. So much so that although I love skin care and love to wear make-up, even the word "beauty" has become toxic to me. While establishing my own brand, I changed “beauty” with “deauty” as a rebellion against this word and the perception of beauty imposed on us, and I decided to define my own beauty with this new word.
I know that many of us are struggling with the same problem and dealing with it is not as easy as it sounds. We all know very well that we should love ourselves, but “how?” We don't know what will happen. No one has been able to achieve this fully anyway, because this is not a concept with clear lines. Loving yourself and accepting yourself as you are is a process, and the best thing we can do in this process is to keep moving forward by constantly adding something to ourselves. The process of self-acceptance by breaking down the beauty patterns that have been formed for centuries is not a change you can make overnight. However, realizing this and starting to listen to yourself more is the best place to start this process.
"How?" As for the part, the process of self-love can start from a different point for everyone. Because we are all individuals who look at life from different windows, have different perspectives, and have different feelings and thoughts. However, I will try to be a light for you by talking about my own process.
First of all, I'm a big believer in the law of attraction and affirmations. Every minute of every day, your body is physically changing in response to the thoughts running through your head. Just thinking about something causes your brain to send signals and release neurotransmitters. These chemicals control nearly all of your body's functions, including your mood and emotions. It has been scientifically proven that over time and repetition, through neuroplasticity, your thoughts change your brain, your cells, and even your genes. That's why I start each day by repeating certain affirmations and sending signals to my brain of what I want to happen. Affirmations can be used to influence your thought patterns, behavioral habits, health, and mood. By repeating such affirmations about beauty and self-love, I remind myself how valuable I am.
Another habit that takes me far in my self-love process is skin care. This time, which I set aside for myself every morning while doing my skin care, has become a time like meditation for me. Because while doing skin care, I accept my body as it is, take time for it, take care of my skin without judging its current state, and give it what it needs, which is natural. I'm not mad at her for getting acne, because I know it's normal, my skin is real, breathing, textured and porous, and I approach it for the sole purpose of treating it. I take care of myself not to be beautiful, but to be myself, to be happy in my own body. I see my "imperfections" on my skin as marks that make me who I am and make me special, and I am proud of them. My scars remind me of what I've been through, how I've endured all the pain I've been through. My stretch marks proudly present to me the effort I have made to become who I am now. And I am proud of myself, of my everything, of all these traces that society sees as flaws.